Many a times, I have read positive stories about traveling, and traveling solo. I was so inspired. My story started when I told my parents I was going with my two best guy friends. I told them in late 2008. In late 2008, my plan was still fragile. I had a lot of money problems, and I haven't really gone past much other than secondary school. And since, my guy friends dropped out of it wordlessly. Needless to say, they hadn't saved enough money or have time to go for this trip. Then, last year, came two friends online, one of which I met through the other. She said she was saving to go with me, to meet me, to have a lifetime of an adventure with me. Just this year, she told me she wouldn't be able to go for personal reasons I shall not talk about. Then actually, before her, her friend wasn't going to go either. They were both not ready to take on more adventurous things like couchsurfing, visiting Russia and Belgium, and even hostels... I'm not going to say more.
If you're reading this, most likely, you're like me. Well . . . read on!
Like I said I had found two girls on Gap Year who said they could come with, and then I found out one can go for four weeks (good enough, I won't ask for more), and the other just found a job and might only come for two. I'm just afraid that in the end, I'd be alone again. Third time might not always be the charm. I just fear promises being broken . . . even if it wasn't a promise to start with. I'm no one that anyone should be obliged to comply with, to heed to for whatever reason but I've already been hopeful twice. It's not that I'm fearful of going alone, I'm just afraid of being disappointed again. My original plan, like I always say, was to go alone. The time is coming close and I'm still going, solo or not.
So today, I'm alone. I have been since that post I made about going solo. Of course, traveling alone is much more dangerous than with someone or a group of people. As I have researched, there are ways to take precautionary measures:
Best if you:
- minimize eye contact with strangers, males especially:
In some countries like Turkey and Italy, it may be an open invitation for them to approach you if you look at them. They take it as you are interested, however brainless it sounds. The next thing you know, they've got friends they want you to meet. And you'll cry later in the night . . . or morning. [see Mr Wolf]
- never look lost or distressed:
Others may jump on this chance to talk to you, knowing you have probably lost your way and are alone, and it might lead to some unforeseen circumstances. Always have that upright, bold posture, and that "I know my way to the Berlin Wall" face (if you're going to the Berlin Wall) instead of "Um, I think I know my way to the Berlin Wall..." Thinking changes your facial expressions. [see Tourist? Where?!]
- minimize that 'tourist' look:
Right, if you've got a 15-kilo backpack on you, I know that doesn't help but it does help when on your day outs, you dress as simply as you can (I bet you would have seen how locals dressed) and head out with minimal things. A sling bag is always cool because you can put it in front of you for safety and still not look like a tourist . . . much . . . as compared to day packs! [see What To Bring]
- never accept a stranger's invitation home:
I know it seems friendly, "Oh, what a cute French guy who's asking me back to his lovely Parisian home for coffee!" But remember: you are still in a foreign country, and are constantly at a risk of being taken advantaged of because of the fact that you are far from your home. If you cannot say no, let him/her know that you have already agreed to meet your travel friends that following day/night and are unable to do so. [see Mr Wolf]
Take precautions on:
- letting a stranger show you around:
Again, if some handsome Hungarian or dashing Dane asks to bring you around, it's best if you decline. You see, you are solo after all. Who will you look for if you run into trouble? A simple chat at a cafe would be alright, and you can ask him/her about the place. Avoid it if it's someplace like a nightclub alley in Antwerp or a secret pasta stall in Florence (you get the idea). Then again, if it's around someplace touristy, it should be safe. Don't take my word for it. I would still accept a friendly invitation if someone offers to take me to the Louvre or the Eiffel Tower! A free tour! Whoo! [see Mr Wolf]
- agreeing with a stranger on traveling together (unless):
My mother said (yes, yes, mom) that it would be wrong if you accept the offer to travel together. Then again, what's the point if I can travel with people I've never met with in real life but when I see a fellow backpacker, I cannot travel with him/her? There's no point in that. I say go. Let's say the man is fishy, say no. If you cannot say no, again, let him/her know that you have already agreed to meet your travel friends that following day/night and are unable to do so. If he's persistent, you know he's a dick. Kick him. [see Mr Wolf]
You shouldn't let this "fear" of being alone hold you back. Yes, you will be bored. Yes, you will be lonely. Yes, you will be more vulnerable but so what? To hell with those! Every country has its risks and why are you any safer here than you are there? Doesn't your country have criminals, too? The only thing is you'd be away from your family and friends but if you don't spread your wings, you will never fly.
I thought of it so much over the year. I do want someone to experience this with me, someone who will be there for me, someone whom I will thicken our relationship with. To have someone to come back home with you and know you two did it together, it would be just amazing. But sometimes, bringing a friend can be disastrous. Trips can turn sour and you two might never talk to each other again. Of course, that is the worst case scenario. Easiest examples are when you two (or three, more) want to do different things at different times. You want to visit the Louvre but your friend is dying to go to Disneyland. What if your partner is a morning person and you can only move when it's time for lunch? Being alone lets you make decisions on your own, and you can count on it that you will be much more mature and independent when you return home!
This experience will change you, it will open your eyes to the world you'd never have seen if you let these things stop you. Trust your instincts. Always, always be sensible. Stick to well-lit, well-known places unless you trust the people you've decided to go with. And of course, it helps if you've got a Swiss Knife within an arm's reach, and if you know some kungfu!
More will be added as and when I think of it. ;)
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